Open your eyes...

I have been laid up in bed for the last couple of days with a wicked migraine so I haven’t had the opportunity to blog. My apartment became a cave until I broke down and went to the urgent care to get the drip. I have no idea why it kicked my ass so bad. Three days is way too long for a migraine. I can honestly say it was most likely brought on by stress, which is alarming. I haven’t had one in a while because I have been pretty good with meditating and clearing my mind of all the crap that I have a tendency to internalize. I suppose that with my start of my enlightenment and all the information I have been absorbing subconsciously I have been worrying about my future. I like to say that I look out for myself and could care less what other people do with their lives. That is a lie. I do care what other people do around me and I do have compassion. At this point though, with all of the information I have at my finger tips the concern of my well being has surpassed my little microcosm and involves the world as a whole. I am a part of this world and I have to survive in it, but as a person living in what has been labeled the greatest country in the world I am feeling more and more like a second class citizen. My voice is being muffled by banality. It hurts. Bad. Since the body and the mind have a connection, clearly the pain I am feeling mentally transposed to the body and gave me something tangible to accept as the truth. Stress will kill you, I am stressed, I have to fix that truth.

What am I to do except to educate myself more and continue the grass roots movement and educate others. I can say this is a great idea in logic but in reality it is a complete farce. People are fine with the $4 lattes and what Anne Curry spews out every morning on the Today Show. Just reading the shit off the AP wire. Americans realize that things aren’t good and these elected officials need to be replaced, and the media needs to be given back to the people, and the economy is about to bottom out, but NOTHING. Where do I go from here when I see such complacency in my fellow citizens. I am disappointed in myself for not reaching out more. I am proud to say that I opted to stay in America to help fight the oppression after the last election. In hindsight, I should have become an Expat. I cannot rely on my fellow Americans to rise up because they have accepted the truth they have been fed. So where do I go from here? At what point does absorbing all of the information out there become detrimental and in turn me into the jaded bitter queen that I been fighting to avoid? Should I just laugh off this foreboding and just take each day one step at a time? Uggg, here I go over thinking things again! I need an answer this time though. My mental health depends on it.