Arrrghhhh...
In the below photo is my humble little brownstone. On the top floor is me little cave. Yes, all three windows...don't hate. In in that rather large bedroom is a mothafuckingcuntlickpieceofshit MOSQUITO that has been slowly draining my blood for the last 48 hours and I can't find it!! My rather well maintained skin is looking like a page of braille, all swollen and itchy! I have even tried putting little X's with my finger nail on the bumps to try and take the annoyance away. It is an old wives tale, but it feeeeeels sooooooo goooooood. (Except on my face). Now, last night I saw it and thought I got it, right after Hillary's speech. I drifted off to the first stages of R.E.M sleep and then....that horribly sickening whiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeee. Right by my ear. Swat. Ouch. Drifting off again.
Ok, so I sleep naked. It was as if a vampire bat was living in my closet and having a feast of every piece of me. Finally, at half past four, deliriously near tears I switched on the light. You would think I would see this thing all swollen with my blood, drunkenly fluttering around on its feast. Alas, zip-zilch-zero. By golly, I had a shoot today and if I didn't get some sleep I was going to do some damage to some poor model. So, I waited. And waited. No mothafuckingcuntlickpieceofshit MOSQUITO!! I ended up wrapping myself up in bedsheets for my last two hours of sleep with only my cute little nose poking out. Yes, it got that too.
Now, I sit here with a can of RAID Flying Insect in a desperate attempt to kill this pointless creature of God. I know this is a ridiculous end to the means, but what is a boy to do? When I least expect it, I get another bite. I have sprayed a million things in my bedroom tonight, the slightly swinging curtain string, the dust bunny, ( I really need to clean this shithole), even my own shadow. Yes, dear reader I sprayed my shadow because at the corner of my eye....I moved. I think I am high on the fumes. The only thing keeping me from a good night sleep; is this can of RAID. I will prevail. Wish me luck.
Ok, so I sleep naked. It was as if a vampire bat was living in my closet and having a feast of every piece of me. Finally, at half past four, deliriously near tears I switched on the light. You would think I would see this thing all swollen with my blood, drunkenly fluttering around on its feast. Alas, zip-zilch-zero. By golly, I had a shoot today and if I didn't get some sleep I was going to do some damage to some poor model. So, I waited. And waited. No mothafuckingcuntlickpieceofshit MOSQUITO!! I ended up wrapping myself up in bedsheets for my last two hours of sleep with only my cute little nose poking out. Yes, it got that too.
Now, I sit here with a can of RAID Flying Insect in a desperate attempt to kill this pointless creature of God. I know this is a ridiculous end to the means, but what is a boy to do? When I least expect it, I get another bite. I have sprayed a million things in my bedroom tonight, the slightly swinging curtain string, the dust bunny, ( I really need to clean this shithole), even my own shadow. Yes, dear reader I sprayed my shadow because at the corner of my eye....I moved. I think I am high on the fumes. The only thing keeping me from a good night sleep; is this can of RAID. I will prevail. Wish me luck.
posted by Joshua-Myles at 9:47 PM
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