Le Sigh...

I jumped in the ocean at 6:12 am. I floated on the calm sea staring at the pink and orange beginings of a new day. Watched the homeless men and women pack up their sleeping mats of dirty card board and stashing them underneath life gaurd stands. Stared at the tiny explosions of light on that inviting azure sea. My thoughts were all jumbled up. I snicker at my paranoid thoughts of huge sharks gobbling me up as I let the gentle movement of the sea rock me into a new morning. Or mourning. I get frustrated at this one piece of seaweed that keeps brushing up on my arm. I dislike that prickly attention-getting ecosystem that just doesn't want to move on. The water is like tepid bathwater. My thoughts are still all jumbled up. Why did I get so angry last night. Why didn't I just break down and throw a good old fashioned tantrum? Why did I excuse myself from a conversation with wonderful people to collect my tears brimming on the edge. What were those tears? Angry ones, sad ones, frustrated ones? Why didn't I just let go? Why is that damned seagull screaching like that??? Go away bird, I am trying to enjoy...my jumbled up thoughts.